The kind of therapist I aim to be
-
the therapist who wants to be your support during the sessions and create a safe environment for you
-
the therapist who knows that what you went through doesn’t define you, but it has done things to you, inside of you
-
the therapist who has the capacity and capability to hear things others have difficulties with, so they're looking at the notepad, no eye contact, being shocked themselves
-
the therapist who is not afraid of being a part of the process and listening to your „stuff”
-
the therapist who doesn’t feel sorry for you but feels sad that “things” happened to you
-
the therapist who have feelings and is not a cold, ignoring, “looking at my notepad” manikin (having feelings allows me to connect with you)
-
the therapist who during the sessions teaches you techniques so that, once you feel ready, you leave me being able to deal with whatever shit hits the fan in your life
One of the most moving feedbacks I have received from one of my clients.
I’m not here to sell you quick fixes that will make you feel better right away, but after a while leave you even emptier than you were before.
I aim for a WIN-WIN situation. Win for you and Win for me. How? What am I talking about? I am talking about no traps. During our 1-hour free information session, we get to feel each other's vibe. You are free to choose to work with me or leave. You are free to take a break and pause the sessions. If something doesn't feel comfortable, you can tell me about it, and I will not judge you -- the sessions are for you.
I want you to feel safe and confident picking me as your therapist. I am not going to chase you, or use the “dirty marketing” tricks that so many companies and people use. You know, the “only 3 places left!” where in reality no one signed up yet. Or a picture of me in glasses, looking old and experienced, wearing some kind of blanket over my shoulders, and a pipe in my mouth -- trying to sell you a look. No… I look normal. Younger than I am. If you read “My story” section and my blog “Living with a Borderline parent”, you'll find out I'm 80 years old, on the inside. That is thanks to the trauma experience I have with me. That is probably why dating men in my own age is not easy, I am simply too old for them 😂.
It is possible to stop with those unhappy and unfulfilling relationships. It is possible to stop caring about others at your own expense. It is possible to feel worthy and deserving others' love, just because you are. It is possible to learn how to set boundaries… And I know it is possible to work through that shit that happened to you. And it doesn't have to be traumatic and empty. It can be full of compassion, empathy, laugh, and tears.
It is possible to love yourself and your life again.
I have the experience of sitting in the chairs of the manipulated and abused, child, the client and the therapist, and I am very much in touch with how it feels to be on each side of the story
My childhood trauma has taught me reading emotions, the subtle changes in the tone of the voice, that little twitch of the face that help me see what you're experiencing during the session, skills no book can teach
My past and negative experiences have given me the capacity to listen to the "greatest" stories, without burning out
I grew up and lived for 25 years with emotionally immature and unavailable parents, one of whom was a narcissistic parent who had Borderline Personality Disorder
I have reached out for help to three different psychologists, who failed me (more in My Story), I tried yoga, acupuncture, breathing, meditation, you name it... and nothing worked
I started healing and seeing changes in my life, my behaviour, my way of thinking when working with an Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) Practitioner.
None of the things above can be taught by books or schools. No degrees can give the experience and knowledge that life put me through and taught me.
If you haven't been through shit, haven't felt it, haven't survived it and fought to change your patterns and behaviour, you have no clue what your client goes through, and how to use the techniques most effectively.
And these are my strongest attributes.